I try to be nice, I really do. Even though I am naturally pre-disposed to be anti-people because I have yet to meet a dozen people who consistently DON’T – get in my way, hold me up, ride my coat-tails, get on my nerves, try to delay me, try to derail me, try to make me LESS, because somehow, someway, it amuses them, it doesn’t occur to them, it’s just the way they are, they are useless, or worse still, because they are too apathetic to be motivated to do anything. My list of consistently liked people is very small and I find the more interactions there are, the smaller that list becomes. That can’t be right, so I have come to the conclusion that it must just be me…I’m not apathetic enough.
Why bother having goals and aspirations since all that awaits is disappointment…why work so hard to do so much when you’re the only one willing to do the work? It’s like being a lioness…the one who does the dirty work of chasing and killing dinner, but while she lays there panting and trying to catch her breath the rest of the pride close in and want to start in on filling their belly. Well damn it, I’m saying no. You want to eat from this buffet…then show me what the hell you’ve done to deserve it…unless you’re as out of breath from chasing dinner as I am, I don’t care if you eat. Don’t just stand around trying to look like you’re doing what I expect you to do…because I see that and it makes me angrier than if you don’t do anything.
And I’ve heard every excuse and don’t want to hear another one…EVERYONE is busy. I do not exist in some parallel dimension where I have the luxury of endless free time, wads of disposable income, or unending patience. I have 40 hours worth of stuff to do in every 24-hour day and more patience than a kindergarten teacher…but I’m human and tired of people disappointing me. Starting now we’re going back to old pride rule…if you aren’t right there with me chasing it down, then I don’t need you and you’re going to go hungry…and if you irritate me by being INTENTIONALLY thick-headed and difficult, don’t be surprised if you find yourself on the menu.
It is highly unlikely that this blog is about you…but if you want to take it that way, feel free to hate on me. The fact of the matter is this post is about someone, yes, but it’s about someone likely too apathetic to even read it…and that’s the truth.
Dear reader, I know what you’re thinking, and no, I’m not mad, no this setback has not ruined my good day or my good mood and yes, I am quite the B word…but I never pretended I wasn’t. I’m still excited as our Autumn magazine is due back from the printers soon, we will be appearing as part of the Zine Fest this Saturday, Oct 22nd AND hosting our own event on Sunday, Oct 23rd as part of the Wisconsin Book Festival. This promises to be a fun weekend and then we have a special reading at the University of Wisconsin in Baraboo, WI on Wednesday. When October churns to an end and November rides in we have more events to keep us busy…like the Feel-Good-About-It Sale…jewelry, bags, scarves, etc; the unveiling of our electronic version of REDzine, the reading portion of our calendar etc. We promise to have more fun with you as the holiday gets closer. I’m excited about that.
So, I can’t give in to apathy, it’s just too… sad and boring and besides, with less than 12 people on my personal list who seem as ravenous as I am I’m guessing it’s fashionable to be apathetic — I always endeavor to not be fashionable or trending when it comes to things of this nature. Otherwise, right now I’d have a Mohawk in all black with a piece that hangs over my eyes and a feather clipped to my hair somewhere, I’d be wearing knee-length brown leather boots, intentionally-impossibly skinny jeans, a puffy scarf, texting on my phone while listening to my iPod, carrying a hemp backpack that supported everyone and no one at the same time, a nose and lip piercing, a tattoo of an eagle…possibly on my face, I would both support and be repulsed by same sex marriage, our president and whether or not I felt we should remove Scott Walker from office and would classify myself as a young conservative democrat with republican tendencies in favor of a socialist agenda that had classic fascist underpinnings.
As it is, I’m just me…always unfashionable and outspoken and I will probably give more damns than I want to for the rest of my (perhaps too short as a result) life. But until then, I remain, as always, your intrepid (and fearless) leader,
The Editor-in-Chief, Women in REDzine